1st In The Family, or “I’m really good at dancing around an issue all night.”

So I came out to my brother today. Like, sat down in person and had the big talk. Well, first I had to meander around just bullshitting with him until like 1:00am before I could finally get the words out of my mouth.

Mind you, I’ve been wanting to do this for well over a year. And I had the entire discussion planned out for almost a year. But he kind of ran into some life issues, and I didn’t feel like it was the time to burden him with what I was going through. I wasn’t overly worried about his reaction…my brother’s gay, and I was the first person he came out to. I just really wanted him to be the first family member I told. Anyway, I’d been trying to nail the kid down for like 3 months, but our schedules never really seemed to coincide. Today, I finally managed sit him down for a chat.

I really hate coming out conversations. Even when you’re relatively confident that someone will be accepting, it’s still nerve-wracking as hell. So yeah, I’ll admit that I completely dodged the issue for hours. In the end, I managed to get it out, and he took it completely in stride. Though, he was a little pissed at me for “winding him up”. I had prefaced seeing him with “having something really important to talk to him about,” and that was more than a month before we actually got to talk. So, he was worried that it was “something serious like cancer”. So, I suppose it’s a good sign that the fact that his big brother is really his big sister is “not so serious”. The bigger point is that he’s willing to be there when I have to have this conversation with my parents in case things get ugly. And that means the absolute world to me.

And really, if my brother is the only person in my family who is willing to accept me, I still think I’m ahead of the game.